5 things the new Burlesque musical needs to give us

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The other week I got a YouTube notification saying there was a teaser for a stage musical adaptation of the iconic Chertina (Cher and Christina Aguilera) cult classic film “Burlesque”. At first I thought it was a fan fiction video, but no. IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING!

But while strangely enough Christina, who appears briefly in the short clip telling us it’s coming to Manchester of all places soon (though you could be forgiven for thinking it was an impersonator), she hasn’t publicly mentioned it on her socials. She may have subtly hinted at it in her Halloween posts where she dressed up as Cher and throws out a quote from the film, but there was no concrete statement.

Regardless, it’s official. Just like the musical adaptations of Mrs. Doubtfire and Back to the Future had their world premieres in Manchester’s Opera House, so too will this show in June 2024, which Xtina is apparently executive producing. So for all the girls and gays in their 30s and above who grew up fangirling over Aguilera throughout the years (but have failed to support her later music career 👀) and the gays – both young and old – who have viewed Cher as a weirdly and wonderful plastic fantastic goddess, the reimagining of this kitsch, camp, cliché and cheesy but let’s be honest – brilliant and eargasmic – film will surely have them flocking to see it.

But what can we hope the Burlesque musical will bring us that will make it live up to the film or even better it? Here are 5 things I at least, think it needs:

1. A Christina cameo

Xtina is said to be executive producing the show but little has been confirmed about her actual involvement beyond her appearance in the teaser trailer and on the official website, which is still sparse in information. Songs from her will feature in it, though it isn’t known whether that includes new ones in addition to those from the film, however we can only hope.

One rumour is that she could, in some shows, be assuming the role of Tess, but again this is simple speculation that may have been started after she dressed up as Cher. Nevertheless, an appearance by her in some capacity would be exciting, and you can only hope she will be present if she is indeed working behind the scenes.

2. An Ali and Tess duet

What fans of both Christina Aguilera and Cher were most upset about with Burlesque was the lack of a duet between the two stars. They both had their own songs to sing separately and had many scenes together, but never sang together – and they still haven’t outside of the film.

Although we don’t know if music by Christina will be written for the show, we know Jess Folley (no, I had never heard of her either) and Todrick Hall have contributed to it, so everyone should cross their fingers that their gay icon dreams will come true!

3. Actresses who don’t just mimic Cher and Christina Aguilera

Of course the show is based on the film but is not based on the real lives of the two leading ladies, so what we wouldn’t want to happen is for actresses to be picked because they can do “good” impressions of them, or be trained to try and sound like them. This is where The Cher Show fell flat because while of course they needed people to sound and act like the legend, imitating her just makes anyone sound quite ridiculous.

However, hopefully they get actresses who still have strong singing, dancing and acting chops to pull off the parts, especially when it comes to playing the titan that is Tess and the combined vocals and choreography of Ali.

4. An Ali who can replicate this riff

A TikTok trend emerged a few years ago that had wannabe singers attempt to copy this nigh on impossible riff Aguilera does towards the end of “Show Me How You Burlesque”. It’s one that she hasn’t even attempted live herself. But you know you’re a powerhouse vocalist if you can nail it, especially after dancing your ass off.

You don’t want someone that just tries to sing like Xtina, but someone who can do this is bound to have audiences cheering in awe.

5. A bit of a beefier storyline

Let’s be real, the storyline in Burlesque was a tad thin to say the least. Although it certainly wasn’t the main draw of the film – that was the simple presence of Cher and Christina Aguilera on the big screen in addition to the great music and razzle dazzle of the dancing and outfits – the story itself is what most critics didn’t like about it. It was, however, still a hit with audiences.

I’m not sure exactly how the story could be better but after 14 years to think on it, original writer Steven Antin, who also wrote the screenplay (but it was his debut), will hopefully have honed his skills during the wait.

Are you looking forward to the Burlesque musical as much as I am? Tickets are now available for shows from 13th-29th June at Manchester’s Opera House!

One response to “5 things the new Burlesque musical needs to give us”

  1. Theatre Review: Burlesque the Musical – Tan's Topics Avatar

    […] all expect the musical’s executive producer and star of the film Christina Aguilera to make a cameo appearance at some point. But, I’ll spoil it for you now and dash your hopes like everyone else’s was […]

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